18 Jun How Can We Be Happy if We Live for Others?
Scripture has some intimidating commands and instructions about our relationships with others that could make us wonder if – to be a committed Christian – we might end up just being a doormat for others to walk on.
- Whoever wishes to be first among you shall be servant of all. (Mark 10:44)
- With humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
- Honor one another above yourselves. (Romans 12:10)
- Love you neighbor as yourself. (Mathew 22:39)
These passages might be misunderstood to suggest that we should not have a self-life. That we are nothing and should live our lives at the beck and call of others.
This is intimidating enough in itself, but when you add to that the potential of others who would gladly take advantage of you, life can begin go look like an invisible prison.
It seems, at first glance, like a guaranteed recipe for unhappiness.
Well, the answer lies in finding the balance between two extremes. One extreme is that you serve yourself to the total exclusion of others, and the other extreme is that you serve others to the total exclusion of yourself.
God expects each of us to have our own life.
God has a plan for our lives, and it involves more than waiting around to see who might want us to do something for them.
- “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were written all the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.(Psalm 139:16) God has a plan for our lives, from beginning to end.
- “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.(Ephesians 2:10) That plan includes good works that He has prepared for us to do.
- “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another.”(1 Peter 4:10) We each have been given a spiritual gift that God expects us to use for His glory.
Putting these passages together, we learn that God has a plan for our lives, and that each of us has been given jobs to do and gifts to do them with. So, God does not expect us to simply live our lives at the whim of others’ needs.
Rather, He expects us to live our lives in the pursuit of His will and the good works he has prepared for us to do, using the gifts he has given us to do them.
When we find the lane that God wants us to travel in, employing the gifts God has given us to travel with, we find purpose, meaning, and satisfaction… the components of a happy life.
However, those good works are always for the benefit of others. Notice again, Peter writes, “as each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another.”
So, we serve others, but we do so in a way that is integrated with God’s plan for our lives, with the good works He has prepared for us, and that – because it uses our gifts –brings meaning and purpose to us.
God expects us to live our life well-integrated with others.
As we follow the plan God has for our lives, He expects us to love the other people we come in contact with. This provides the balance between a life lived completely for ourselves and one lived completely for others. A primary feature of biblical love is that love “gives.”
- “God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
- “… I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” (Galatians 2:20)
- “walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us…” (Ephesians 5:2)
- “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
So, a life of love is a life that gives to others.
Earthly Benefits of a Balanced Life
The surrounding context of those passages also tells us that we “get” by “giving.”
As husbands love their wives and give themselves up for them (Ephesians 5:25), wives find it easier to love and respect their husbands in return… providing the context for a meaningful relationship.
As parents love their children (Ephesians 6:4), it becomes easier for children to love and obey their parents in return, creating a rich and satisfying bond.
As those in authority (masters) love those under them (slaves) (Ephesians 6:5-9), it becomes easier to honor and serve those over them, fostering a climate of mutual benefit… whether the principle is applied to bosses/employees, teachers/students, coaches/athletes, or mentors/learners.
So, giving ourselves to others does not mean that we abandon any self-direction in life, but that we do what is right for others in the course of living our lives. So, love gives to others, but as we live in love toward others, it creates a dynamic in earthly life that comes back to bless us.
Heavenly Benefits of a Balanced Life
Scripture teaches us that the benefits for giving are not only for this life, but are also for the next.
- “If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35) So when we “give” by being last, we “get” by being first in God’s eyes, receiving an eternal reward for faithfulness.
- “Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant…” (Mark 10:43). When we “give” by being a servant, we “get” by becoming great in God’s eyes.
Because God has created us as social beings – because God has created us to want and need one another – He has created us so that we get by giving. As we give to others, which encourages others give to us, our needs are met in a context of unity and harmony.
Conclusion
Choosing to love others is choosing to benefit self, because we get by giving.
So, in choosing to live for others, God doesn’t expect us to abandon any idea of a self-life for the sake of simply waiting to do what others want us to do. He has a will for our lives, has given us jobs to do and gifts to do them with.
But as we go about doing God’s will, we are to love those with whom we come in contact – that’s part of God’s will. And, in choosing to love and serve others, God rewards us with a richer earthly life, and rewards us in heaven as well.
Far from being a doormat, serving others becomes a doorway to a rich and fulfilled life.
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