23 Jun The Awesome Power of a Gentle Answer
“This generation is the first to turn hate into an asset.”
So begins an important new book, A Gentle Answer, by Scott Sauls. It is a quote by Dr. John Perkins, an 89-year-old Christian minister and civil rights icon who has suffered greatly at the hands of racists, but who, nevertheless, has spent his life preaching against the very wrongs he has suffered, while advocating moving toward persecutors in love.
Pitting a “gentle answer” against the angry uproar of today’s cultural upheaval seems like bringing a squirt gun to a forest fire.
Yet, God’s Word speaks more powerfully to gentleness than many of us might initially realize. For example, Jesus, Himself, described Himself as “gentle and humble at heart.” (Matthew 11:29) So, gentleness isn’t a strategy that Jesus pulled out when it was convenient or useful to meet a particular situation. Rather, Jesus set the example of character for all of us to follow.
The Bible encourages gentleness
A study of the word “gentle” in the Bible reveals gentleness as a major scriptural force that is largely invisible to many because our culture does not value gentleness. So, we just skip over it, mentally, when we see it in Scripture.
- “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Proverbs 15:1
- “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5)
- Gentleness is part of the fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23)
- In Christian conflict, we are to restore others in a spirit of gentleness. (Galatians 6:1)
- In our Christian lives, we are to walk in a manner worthy of our calling, “with all humility and gentleness.” (Ephesians 4:2)
- We are to let our “gentle spirit be known to all.” (Philippians 4:5)
- Spiritual leaders in the church are to be “gentle.” (1 Timothy 3:3)
- God-given wisdom is “gentle.” James 3:17)
Gentleness stands tall in the forest of Scripture, yet as I said, is all but invisible in modern culture. We tend to ignore it in favor of other “more desirable” traits.
The Bible discourages anger
On the other hand, anger is often the dominant emotion governing disagreement and conflict. And in the same way as we tend not to see the encouragement toward gentleness, we also tend not to see the warnings against anger. They tend to be invisible because we value anger. We want to keep it as a tool in our relational arsenal so we can pull it out when needed to protect ourselves. Yet, Scripture calls us to take up gentleness and lay down anger as the controlling value in our relationships.
- “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)
- “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:31)
- “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
The message of A Gentle Answer, written many months ago, but only published just recently (it typically takes approximately a year for a book to get published), could hardly be more important or timely for our present context of cultural upheaval and the triumph of outrage.
While it may seem that bringing gentleness to today’s cultural upheaval is like bringing a squirt gun to a forest fire, it is really the only thing that will bring about positive change. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s message of non-violence and reconciliation brought about greater positive cultural change in our nation than, perhaps, any other single force since the civil war.
Today’s approach of anger toward conflict will not likely bring about positive cultural change, but only further division, which can only be detrimental to all involved.
Conclusion
Sauls includes in his book a powerful story that reveals the true power of the squirt-gun of gentleness. Dan Crenshaw was a Navy SEAL officer who lost his right eye to an improvised explosive device during deployment in Afghanistan. As a result of the injury, he wears a distinctive black patch over his right eye.
Upon discharge from the military, he was elected to Congress from Texas’s 2nd district, and has achieved rapid recognition and distinction as a congressman.
Motivated by his political views, Pete Davidson, a Saturday Night Live comedian, mocked Congressman Crenshaw, describing him as looking like a “hit man in a porno movie,” while adding that he lost his eye in a “war or whatever.”
Davidson received such powerful public backlash from his ill-considered mockery that he fell into depression. He wrote in an Instagram post, “I really don’t want to be on this earth any more. I’m doing my best to stay here for you but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last. All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.”
Instead of Crenshaw’s piling on or reacting with anger and insult, he publicly downplayed the insult, and privately reached out to Davidson to forgive and encourage him. Instead of retaliating, he reconciled. He told the comedian that everyone has a purpose on earth and that “God put you here for a reason. It’s your job to find that purpose. And you should live that way.”
He offered a gentle answer, and it turned away a world of wrath.
Then, on Veteran’s Day weekend, the two met on Saturday Night Live to make highly-public amends, where Crenshaw continued his gentle ways toward Davidson. Taking the opportunity to go even further, Crenshaw praised Davidson’s father who was a firefighter who died in the 9-11 attack.
At the end of the segment, Davidson leaned over and whispered to Crenshaw, “You are a good man.”
My! That squirt-gun of gentleness more than extinguished a forest fire of conflict.
As believers, we need to trust the wisdom and power of Scripture, and dedicate ourselves to a spirit of reconciliation whenever possible – to turn away wrath with a gentle answer.
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