The Freedom of Forgiving

24 Jan The Freedom of Forgiving

Forgiveness can be very difficult

C. S. Lewis once wrote, “We all agree that forgiveness is a beautiful idea until we have to practice it.” Yet he goes on to say, “To be Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

Even though we can understand the point he makes, forgiveness can still be a tremendously challenging thing to actually do. But Scripture helps us put together a “theology of forgiveness” that is very helpful.  Allow me to quote from my book, 30 Days to Growing in Your Faith:

“We must forgive for three reasons:

1. To maintain our relationship with the Lord

Matthew 6:14–15 says, “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” This does not mean that if we do not forgive others we will not go to heaven (Ephesians 2:8–9; Titus 3:5). Rather, this means that our fellowship with God will be broken if we do not forgive others who wronged us.

2. To maintain our relationships with others

We must forgive to restore relationships with others. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tender- hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

3. To keep from ruining ourselves

We must forgive to keep from destroying ourselves. In Ephesians 4:26–27 we read: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger; and do not give the devil an opportunity.” This teaches that if we do not forgive, we give the devil an opportunity to gain a spiritual warfare advantage in our lives.

The only way we can keep anger and other damaging sins from consuming us is to forgive.

There are two aspects of forgiveness:

Forgiveness involves relinquishing the right for revenge (Matthew 18). This does not mean, however, that fellowship is necessarily restored or that all consequences of the sin are removed when we forgive.

There are two aspects to the Bible’s teaching on forgiveness:

1. In one place, the Bible teaches that we must forgive, with no conditions. Matthew 6:14–15 says that we are to forgive, period. And it warns us that if we do not forgive others, our heavenly Father will not forgive us.

2. In another place, the Bible teaches that we forgive with conditions. Luke 17:3 says, however, “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive ” If he repents?!? This teaches that we may,under certain circumstances, hold the offender accountable for his actions (we rebuke him), and only restore the relationship if he repents.

How do we harmonize those two passages? Forgiveness in Matthew 6 refers to giving up the right to exact revenge, while the Luke 17:3 passage refers to re-establishing fellowship. So, we can reconcile the passages by observing that we are to give up the right to revenge in all instances…we are to pardon; but the re-establishment of fellowship may be influenced by whether or not the other person repents.

It seems that the times when Luke 17 would kick in would be rare and involve a rather serious issue, however, because of Colossians 3:12–14, which says: 

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all things, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 

This passage seems to suggest that normal things would simply be overlooked – forgiven. But, there is apparently a level of severity at which the principle of Luke 17:3 kicks in and fellowship is not restored unless the offending party repents. 

A final principle is that we are to “love our enemies and pray for those who persecute [us]” (Matthew 5:44). So even if our forgiveness does not restore fellowship (because the offense is so great and the other person does not repent), we are still to respond in love toward our offenders whether or not he repents.

Here are the basic biblical principles to guide our lives:

1. We always forgive, in terms of giving up our lust for revenge (Matthew 6:4).
2. Fellowship may not be restored even if you do forgive another, if it is an egregious sin and the other person does not repent and ask for forgiveness (Luke 17:3).
3. We are always to respond in love to our offender, whether or not he repents (Matthew 5:44).”

Conclusion

Benjamin Franklin said, “doing an injury puts you below your enemy. Revenging one makes you but even with him. Forgiving it sets you above him.” It’s not Scripture. But it’s still true. The only way we can be greater than those who offend us is to forgive them.

As we ponder this, we remind ourselves of another Lewis quote: “He who has not forgiven an enemy has never tasted one of the most sublime enjoyments of life.”

In a remarkable example of forgiveness, Corrie ten Boom tells a powerful story in her book, Tramp for the Lord.

Corrie had worked against the Nazis in World War II hiding Jews in her home. When she was caught, she was sent to a concentration camp where she was stripped of her dignity, saw her father and her sister die, and suffered more at the hands of other people than most people could possibly imagine.

After the war, she was traveling through Germany giving people the message that God forgives. At the end of a church service, she saw one of the most cruel guards in the concentration camp coming forward to speak to her. She recounts the incident in her book:

“You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,” he was saying.  “I was a guard there. But since that time, I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well.”

I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart, and I could not forgive. “Jesus, help me!” I prayed silently.  “I can lift my hand; I can do that much. You supply the feeling.”

And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

“I forgive you, brother!”  I cried.  “With all my heart.”

For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner.”

Most of us will never face the challenge of forgiveness that Corrie did. Yet her example encourages us to be forgiving of whatever the offenses against us are. Forgiveness is a towering virtue that liberates us from self-destructive bitterness and resentment, infusing us with power and freedom.

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