We Must Choose Others Over Self – Part 1

22 Aug We Must Choose Others Over Self – Part 1

Blog Series

Moving from Checkers to Chess

Five Steps to Unleashing the Power of an Eternal Perspective

Modern culture: We get by taking

Modern culture tries to sell us the lie that we can “get” by “taking.” But when we buy the lie, when we choose self over others, what we get is isolation and loneliness.

Why? Because humans are created in the image of God. God is a Trinity: three and yet one. Just as God lives in unity, fellowship and harmony, so humans must live in unity, fellowship and harmony in order to be happy and fulfilled in life.

Therefore, while it may seem logical that we can get what we want out of life by putting ourselves first, the reality is that unless we learn to give ourselves to others in a balanced and effective way, we are doomed to loneliness and unhappiness.

The Bible is clear on how to have rich and rewarding relationships with others: we give ourselves to others. When we do, this encourages others to give themselves to us. As a result, we each begin to get our needs met by others in a context of unity and harmony.

That is why we can say that in order to view life as God views it, in order to have an eternal perspective, we must choose others over self. In a counter-intuitive way, our richest life possible requires that we must choose others over self.

Love is the highest good in life.

Former British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said, “We are born for love. It is the principle of existence and its only end.”

Scripture says it even more powerfully: “’You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost command. The second it like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39).

Scripture and wisdom tell us love is central to life. So now we need to understand the nature of biblical love.

Biblical love focuses on giving instead of getting.

While cultural love focuses on “getting” what we want out of a relationship, Scripture, as we said, teaches us to “give” to a relationship.

In John 3:16, Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

In Galatians 2:20 the apostle Paul wrote, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, buChrist lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

In Ephesians 5:2 we are exhorted to “walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us”.

Finally, husbands are instructed to “love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

We see this value advanced in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a where Paul wrote:

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

There are fifteen key marks of loving in this passage that are strengthened by a closer look:

1. Patient: To be patient, in this context, means to endure a person or situation without responding in an unhelpful way. It includes the ideas of not retaliating, not losing your temper, not cutting someone off, not demeaning another person, not punishing those who offend or exasperate us, and giving the situation an opportunity to be resolved in a helpful way.
2. Kind: Kindness is gentle and takes the other persons’ feelings into account when we respond to them.
3. Not jealous: This refers to the absence of envy and resentment for what others have, whether it involves possessions, relationship, status, or circumstances.
   
4. Does not brag: This word occurs only once in the New Testament and refers to exalting ourselves over others, based on our accomplishments.
   
5. Is not arrogant: Arrogance is rooted in pride and the considering of oneself better, or more important, than others. It includes not giving proper respect to those who are over you, such as parents, teachers, employers, coaches, etc.
   
6. Does not act unbecomingly: This is rudeness, which is rooted in a disrespect of others, and involves treating others badly.
   
7. Does not seek its own: This involves putting yourself before others in a way that hurts them or devalues them.
   
8. Is not provoked: Being provoked means to be easily angered, short-tempered. It is not always possible to not be angry, but it is possible and important not to express your anger in wrong ways (Ephesians 4:26–27).
9. Does not take into account a wrong suffered: Love forgives rather than taking revenge or harboring resentment. It lets go of the wrong suffered.
   
10. Rejoices not in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth: This means that we do not take delight in seeing others stumble into evil or rejoice in their destruction, especially those who may have wronged us.
11. Bears all things: Love bears with the offenses that others may give us and does not stop loving under the strain of the difficulties others cause us.
    
12. Believes all things: This might be best expressed by saying that love always gives another person the benefit of the doubt.
    
13. Hopes all things: Hope is an attitude that those who may now be causing us problems will eventually get straightened out.
    
14. Endures all things: We must persevere in our willingness to love others who are distressing us.
    
15. Love never fails: This means that love never stops If it stops, it isn’t love.

In all our relationships, we will tend to reap what we sow. If we sow respect and love toward others, we will tend to get respect and love in return, and our relationships will be satisfying and rewarding. If we sow disrespect and selfishness toward others, we will tend to get disrespect and selfishness in return, and our relationships will be unsatisfying and painful.

Conclusion

Love has a power greater than anything else on earth. It is the power that moved God to send His Son to die for our sins. It is the power that moved Jesus to be willing to come and to die for our sins. It is the power that forges relationships on earth that give us a small taste of heaven while still on earth, and it is the power that draws others to Christ when they see His love in us. It is a power that is a great source of good in life.

Next week, in Part 2, we’ll look at another characteristic of choosing others over self: servant leadership. I’ll see you then!

Get a Moving from Checkers to Chess At-a-Glance-Overview: Click Here

As we have been studying these concepts for quite some time (including in some prior blog series), and I am excited to now be connecting all the “moving parts” from those posts and combining them into a “spiritual game plan” in this “Moving from Checkers to Chess ~ 5 Steps to Unleashing the Power of an Eternal Perspective” series.

For an overview of the game plan, so you can see at a glance where we begin and where we’re headed, I’ve created an overview/outline you can download for free: Click Here

For the full discussion of each of the steps, begin with the first post in this series, Moving from Checkers to Chess, and then continue with the following posts thereafter.

In case you’re new here, below are two resources I’ve created for additional help in your Christian discipleship journey:

Share this Blog