Winston Churchill is often regarded as the master of insults.
You may be familiar with his famous exchange with Lady Astor after she said, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee. Churchill replied “And if you were my wife, I would drink it.”
Commenting on Clement Attlee, who was Britain’s Prime Minister at the time, Churchill said, “A empty cab pulled up to 10 Downing Street. Clement Attlee got out.”
George Bernard Shaw once tried to one-up Churchill, sending him a letter saying, “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my play; bring a friend. If you have one.”
To which Churchill replied, “Cannot possibly attend the first night. Will attend the second… if there is one.”
Well, these spectacular insults are so clever they almost reach the heights of poetry… but they are still insults, and still fall outside the boundaries of Christian speech.
Ephesians 4:29 says, "let no unwholesome word proceed from out of your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear."
As we continue our line of thinking that Christians can help bring
calmness in the face of conflict by mastering the art of a gentle answer (which turns away wrath – Proverbs 15:1), Christians must take their cues about language and conflict from the Scripture, not the world. If we get this right, we can multiply our influence in a culture of conflict.
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The tongue is powerful.
God knows the power of the tongue. He gave it to us. And instructed us on how to use it. The central passage in the Bible on the tongue is found in James 3:2 – 6:
If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect (mature) man, able to also bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses mouths that they may obey us, and direct their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
Boy! Strong words! But true.
- Words are a reflection of our heart.
Scripture says, “
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)
What comes out of our mouths originates in our hearts. The heart is a reservoir. Our words are merely the streams flowing out of it. How embarrassing! Everyone knows! They know our heart by listening to our words!
- Change is not easy but possible
Changing our speech is not an easy task because it is not merely our speech that needs to change. It's our heart. That's why James wrote that if we could control the tongue, we could control the entire body.
Therefore, we must look honestly and accurately at our speech. Is it helpful speech or hurtful speech? No one speaks all of one and none of the other, but when we are honest about our speech, we can look at the characteristics of good speech and bad speech with the goal of improving our own.
Romans 12:2 tells us that we can have our speech transformed if we renew our mind.
We can memorize Scripture. James 1:19-20 is a good one to begin with: “
Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”
We can read a good book on using our tongue wisely. You might try
30 Days to Taming the Tongue by Deborah Smith Peques. Or there are many online studies on the Christian use of the tongue.
If we use our tongue wisely and well, it will improve our relationships with other people, increase our positive impact on others, and make our lives better.
Conclusion
We have, in our mouth, a tool that gives us the ability to encourage, exalt, and empower, or the ability to discourage, damage, and to defeat.
If we had a physical weapon this powerful, it would have to be licensed and registered with the authorities. Some people would not be permitted to carry it. Yet here we are, everyone armed with a weapon so powerful that lives can hang in the balance when we use it.
Think of the most positive and encouraging person you know. Then think of the power and the positive influence that that person has on others. Then ask yourself, "Why couldn't I be like that person?" Better yet, say to yourself, "I can be like that person." Best yet, say, "I will be like that person." If we choose to be like that person, we open ourselves up to having that same power and positive influence on others.
One of my daily affirmations is “I create happiness and encouragement,
ex nihilo, every day.” I don’t succeed every day. But I succeed more often than if I didn’t try.
We have to grow into being a person who wields great positive power through our words. We won’t “poof” into it. But beginning to grow starts when we decide that that is the kind of person we want to be like. And we can multiply our influence in a culture of conflict.
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